onward

No sense wasting words on the sense of foreboding that 2017 seems to have. Looking back at my Big Top life this past year has convinced me that we will continue to grow together and have a good life doing what we must do.

Bring it 2017!

ONWARD!!!

The world owes all its onward impulses to men ill at ease. The happy man inevitably confines himself within ancient limits.

~ Nathaniel Hawthorne

blogtography 2016 edition

Beyond my circus life, I’m not so sure about this year. 2016 was awfully harsh and stormy and blustery and a little bit dark…with even darker dark looming up ahead. But under The Big Top, 2016 was a pretty good year and a good time with a lot of love, light, laughter and hope.

A patient’s family handed me lemons the other day.

Add this to the No Matter How Old And Independent Your Children Are…or maybe think they are….They Will Still Need You files.

Pretty much all the honest truth telling there is in the world is done by children.

Are you in a good mood now, Mom?

Oh hey! that’s my name!

Nothing screams romance and sexy time anniversary celebrations than…moving.And because we are moving and we are celebrating our wedding anniversary, of course there is wine…wine in Solo cups because we have been packing up all the things.

Right here, right now, I’m thinking the best decision ever in moving The Big Top was to have this sweet oasis set up…to escape the chaos and endless to-do list inside The Big Top…to enjoy the quiet here uptown…here…home.

Golden Birthday Girls are just like us.

When he looks in the mirror, we want our son to know himself. It’s hard to face the world when you don’t know where your face came from.

You’re going to be there when a lot of people are born, and when a lot of people die. In most every culture, such moments are regarded as sacred and private, made special by a divine presence. No one on Earth would be welcomed, but you’re personally invited. What an honor that is.

And for a moment, I do reflect a little on the fact that there is no control once you are gone who tells your story.

Excuse me people but lately I am having some serious mad love for my neighborhood.

I kind of like science, Mom. I like it a lot.

Ah, Harry…you need a shave, my friend.

Give me a moment. Give all of us a moment.

I hope she will some day recall this once upon a December day and smile. I know that I will.

 

and when they learn to read and write

I once said that I have never felt old while my children fast grew from babies to teenagers and adults, nor even when that first grand baby was born…or the second. But when that first grand baby started kindergarten, suddenly I began to feel a little bit old because life does speed up when the kids skip off to school. But it’s all good because when they learn to read and write they enchant you even more with thoughts and words and dreams and wishes that will always make your day.

Always.

I will leave this one right here for you, for me, for everyone…until she erases it and writes something else.

Happy New Year’s Eve Eve!

the year we find out we weren’t immortal

You know what’s funny about death? I mean other than absolutely nothing at all? You’d think we could remember finding out we weren’t immortal. Sometimes I see children sobbing at airports and I think, ‘Aww. They’ve just been told.’

Carrie Fisher

Three days more, y’all. Just three days more.

Right?!

Please.

Yeah, like pretty much everyone else on the inter webs, I’m going to say a little something about the passing of Carrie Fisher and the next day of her mother, Debbie Reynolds. I was thoroughly entertained by their talents; as were so many others. But at this moment I am recalling with gratitude the sometimes profane candor with which they publicly shared their lives together: relationships, addiction, living with mental illness, loving someone with mental illness.

Stars, they’re just like us…and our family because if my life wasn’t funny it would just be true, and that is unacceptable.

Enough, 2016. Enough.

2017, hope, and the next generation

There is something troubling to hear in the news of the sudden, but peaceful death of a pop music icon of your own generation when he is around the same age as you…because he died peacefully can be a little bit disconcerting especially when the news reports add that George Michael was only 53. Sorry, but only 53 conjures up the assumption that most 50-something people are NOT facing very soon the inevitable end of their lives because only 53 suggests that there might be a few more years left to live.

Meanwhile…

WTF 2016?!!

I’m not the only one who has been saying that literally all year long. Just hurry up and end already! Please!

Perhaps that is why the AP is feeling like their New Year’s poll of 1,007 people surveyed online accurately portrays the tone of Americans right now. Optimistic as we face 2017? We have a president-elect gas-lighting nations, Congress, media, Saturday Night Live and corporations alike on Twitter; and when he actually tries to act presidential reaching out to include all Americans, his Trumpers freak out.

Sorry, imagining the potential with this kind of, er, leadership, I’m just not feeling all warm and fuzzy about the near future. I’m trying. Really, I am trying. But I just can’t. I just can’t even. I, and a number of other people I know (regardless of our politics), seem to be thinking more in line with what Michele Obama said recently.

We feel the difference now. See, now, we are feeling what not having hope feels like. Hope is necessary. It’s a necessary concept and Barack didn’t just talk about hope because he thought it was just a nice slogan to get votes. He and I and so many believe that — what else do you have if you don’t have hope. What do you give your kids if you can’t give them hope?

It’s true. What can I offer my young adult children, my teenaged son, my grand daughters if I can’t even begin to feel hopeful about the next four years…dear god please not eight years!!! It’s hard to imagine America while not having a grownup in the White House. Nailed it, Michele!

But thank you, Mr. President. Thanks Obama as you remind us of that generation right behind us, and I believe each successive generation, as long as we’re doing our job of being good models for it, they’re going to move this country forward in a better direction.

There is hope. Hope is right here. I’m willing to wait for it.