the big top trifecta

Thirty four years ago today…

…we both had big hair. I had the tiniest waist and yet I thought I was fat in that Gunne Sax dress. Oh, and we got married. A good thing because a few years later, Hollie made us parents; which meant on occasion our wedding anniversary and Mother’s Day would be on the same day. Then twenty-one years ago today…

…this child of ours crashed our anniversary. Naturally it would follow that on occasion May 14 would be our wedding anniversary, Mother’s Day and our Jodie’s birthday (in that order here under The Big Top, of course). Three times since 1996 to be exact.

Weird that we are all not together; I mean what young adult turning 21 wouldn’t want to celebrate it with her Dad and Mom on their 34th wedding anniversary and on Mother’s Day? Oh well. There is always May 14 2023; our next May 14 Trifecta.

for Mother’s Day

Have you seen what mothers want for Mother’s Day on Facebook?

Every year my children ask me the same question. After thinking about it, I decided I’d give them my real answer:
What do I want for Mother’s Day? I want you. I want you to keep coming around, I want you to bring your kids around, I want you to ask me questions, ask my advice, tell me your problems, ask for my opinion, ask for my help. I want you to come over and rant about your problems, rant about life, whatever. Tell me about your job, your worries, your kids, your fur babies. I want you to continue sharing your life with me. Come over and laugh with me, or laugh at me, I don’t care. Hearing you laugh is music to me.
I spent the better part of my life raising you the best way I knew how. Now, give me time to sit back and admire my work.
Raid my refrigerator, help yourself, I really don’t mind. In fact, I wouldn’t want it any other way.
I want you to spend your money making a better life for you and your family, I have the things I need. I want to see you happy and healthy. When you ask me what I want for Mother’s Day, I say “nothing” because you’ve already been giving me my gift all year. I want you.

At first read, I sighed a little “Awww” because it’s such a sweet sentiment. Yes, this is exactly what I wish for Mother’s Day, and every day with my kids, now that four of them are grown. I will always be your mother; but now I kind of want your friendship. Except for the fact that I remember when I was your age.

Yeah, I know how that sounds and I also know that you’re rolling your eyes just a little – perhaps a lot if you are that one kid of mine.

But I do, kids. I do recall what it was like to be your age trying to figure out this adult life thing along with love and sex and relationships, balancing budgets, saving – or not saving, school, career, marriage, having babies, having more babies, and everything else that is adulting. I know that nothing filled me more with self-doubt and self-loathing as an adult than the advice that I never really asked for – and there was a lot of it – whether I asked for it or not – usually I did not ask for it.

And so, kids, I bite my tongue – A LOT.

I want to talk to you about your life, your loves, your friends, your school, your career. I definitely wonder if marriage is for you – and children. I want to know about who was that one guy on your Instagram and Snapchat. I am curious about your plans for school, your job, your career. I even want to see what your friends are sharing about you on that birthday tribute page.  I do, kids. I really do.

But I can still remember when I was your age.

Some things are private – for you – for me. As mom, I am not a fan. As a person who values the trust we have built together, you know, as friends, I do my best to respect you.

Yeah, I bite my tongue a lot.

But, my dear kids, I know that I raised up some pretty awesome people – because of, or perhaps in spite of my parenting. And that is why I am privileged to enjoy our conversations – when you ask me questions, ask my advice, tell me your problems, ask for my opinion, ask for my help. When you to come over and rant about your problems, rant about life, whatever. When you tell me about your job, your worries, your kids, your fur babies. I love when you laugh with me and, occasionally, when you laugh at me. I love when you are here, raiding my refrigerator and pantry too. Most of all, I love just hanging out with you – all of you. That time together reminds me what amazing people my children are and, yeah, I am going to take some credit for that.

I love you kids! Thank you for making me a mom. More than anything, that is the best Mother’s Day gift; all of you.

party like it’s nurses week

Actually it has been Nurses Week, all week long this week, May 6-12, with the added bonus of a waxing and waning full moon. It’s okay because I really do have the privilege to have the best job ever and with the best scrubs squad ever where we get to be the advocate of the adorable, the bundler of the babies and the healer of the helpless.

It’s the eve of Nurses’ Day, Florence Nightingale’s 197th birthday and I am going to put on my scrubs and party all night like I just drank and entire pot of coffee! Because I have and because I have so much love in the scrubs.

lunchtime

There is much too much for me to tell you that I am thankful for as a grandmother, excuse me, as a Mima. One thing that I find myself giving thanks for often is just being there. Being mom means mastering the art of juggling because mom literally must be all of it and do it all and look good all the while. I can’t even begin to list all the times I failed all of this as mom. If only I could have called up “Mom” for the times when I could not juggle it all. So these moments when Hollie calls upon me, I am filled with so much gratitude and joy that I can be there.

Hazel calls me to invite me to a Mother’s/Family lunch at her school and my day is planned!

Yes, I give thanks for the fact that I can set aside the afternoon for her – and that my darling husband is able to take the afternoon off to pick up our own son from school because while Hazel’s school is hosting a Mother’s/Family lunch, Daniel’s school is dismissed at noon for Teachers’ Inservice.

Welcome to our adventures in juggling; which I guess goes on even after most of the kids have grown and left The Big Top.

It means so much to know that Hollie will call me and say, Mom,can you do this for Hazel or Fallon; and I know it means just as much to her because if only I could have called up “Mom” for the times when I could not juggle it all.

And this. OMG, this! Lunch with the one who named me Mima,…I will absolutely put on my prettiest springtime dress, curl my hair and sit in the school courtyard with the Delta winds whipping up all the dust and pollen and my hair while sharing Lunchables with this girl; the one who corrected me when I met her best friend’s mother and introduced myself as Hollie’s Mom and Hazel’s grandmother – you are not a Grandmother, you are a Mima!

Lunch time is the best time!

the kind of day no quote can fix

And so how is everyone’s day today?

Really?!…Mine started with a call to my congressman. Check that, many calls…many, many calls dialed

yes kids, I said dialed

no kids, I’m not going to explain what dial is

Google it, okay

Anyway, I tried to get through to my congressman starting at 6 AM West Coast time and dialed repeatedly unable to even connect until finally:

Honorable Jeff Denham is not answering.

 

CLICK!

What the fresh hell???!!!

And so while I watched and listened to our Republican-controlled House ram this Trumpcare Bill through before their next seven day recess, along with so many other Americans, I did my very best to reduce all of the anxiety and stress.

Of course my form was as exquisite as Adriene’s. Of course it was! And it helped. At least I stopped screaming at CSPAN imagining that my congressman could hear me since his Washington and Modesto offices stopped taking constituents’ calls. But all the Nadi Shodhana and Downward Dog and Cobra and Warrior poses wasn’t going to stop my congressman and his GOP colleagues  from completely ignoring the will of their constituents, from their vote and from their post-touchdown end zone celebration in the Rose Garden because we have a POTUS that needs to be happy and smiling; nor was it going to stop me from thinking of how this could potentially harm my family – the ones who won’t get to stay on their parents plan forever.

What a day!

A day that calls for ice cream and laughter and singing along to pop songs on the radio and hugs and after they go home to mommy, wine

And no apologies for run on sentences. Not today.

I’ve had the kind of bad day no quote can fix ~ Richelle E. Goodrich