Beyoncé’s status secured

How was your day, Mom?

He asks me that every day as he climbs into the car at the end of the school day. He cares, he really cares that son of mine.

After a long busy 12 hour night shift in the NICU, the mad drive home in go-to-work rush hour traffic followed by staying awake for just a couple hours more in order to take him to school and then enjoying the decadent pleasure of a 2 hour nap before picking him up from school, I can tell him with all the confidence that my day so far is pretty good. In fact, I tell him that it is great because I woke up like this.

I don’t get it, Mom.

Epic bed head, no makeup…I’m flawless, son.

I still don’t get it.

Fair warning to Queen Bey, Blue Ivy will someday soon be a teenager and she just might not see you as flawless anymore as our teenaged children often do. Enjoy these times now, Bey.

For now I am humbled and Beyoncé is indeed flawless.

Botox and fillers and bangs…oh my!

Here is where I confess that I am mildly amused when I see younger women whose faces are paralyzed. I swear I’m not judging. I regularly have Hollie color and hide the suddenly large patch of gray on the top of my head because I’m absolutely not ready for that bullshit. Honestly I’m still believing that redheads don’t turn gray as they age but rather fade to a rosy gold, then to a glorious white. So yeah, Hollie colors my hair making me ginger-er and I certainly have no place to judge women younger than me whose faces don’t move.

But every once in a while I see a lovely woman, my age, older, younger, whatever whose beautiful face is frozen and filled in such a way that I have to stop myself from crying out…

WHY?????!!!!!

Perhaps that’s I why I believe (for now) that Botox is not for me. Plus the fact those vertical lines above my nose, permanently etched because of literally decades of squinting because I haz special eyes would need to be filled rather than Botoxed. Oh, and needles and my face? Um, no. My luck my sensitive skin would react in such a way that I could not literally show my face for days; or worse, I would look like I suffered a stroke.

Because it is me, that would totally happen.

Still, vanity sometimes gets the best of me like when I think about the fact that as my lovely sister gets married next Saturday, I will be 20-25 years older than the rest of the wedding party.

Really.

Of course no one cares, or at least they shouldn’t because it quite literally is all about the beautiful bride, my sister, and her handsome, adoring groom.

OMG! I can’t wait!!!

Perhaps I should thank the lady I saw in Starbucks today whose lovely face was frozen and filled in such a way that it was truly frightening. She saved my face…today.

For me, bangs are my Botox.

wait, there’s a window?

Picking up a prescription at my local Target pharmacy I encounter one of our very own Target Ladies who waited on me.

Oh my goodness but your hair is SO LONG!

Has so much time passed that she hasn’t noticed that, yes, my hair is long? Perhaps I have been wearing it up too much. Well today it was down and it was long.

You look SO GOOD with long hair!!

Thanks.

You look so YOUNG wearing your hair like that! Like really young. Ten years younger, or more. Of course I know how old you are so I will have to say you look forty-one!

Well 41 is good. Thank you.

Walking away with my prescription I find myself laughing a little. Thanks to Overly Familiar Target Lady everyone waiting in line now knows how old I am…ten years older than 41. Not that I really care. It just struck me as funny, as pretty much every encounter I have with Overly Familiar Target Lady. So I overshare a little on Facebook…as we do.

Overly familiar Target Pharmacy lady says I look like 10 years younger with long hair. “Like 41 because I know how old you really are.” Okay!

To me it was funny and so I shared.

Soon enough comments followed and although I LOVED the compliments that wasn’t what I was going for. I swear. Still, it was nice. Thank you. But quickly enough, the air was let out of my ballooned head by a comment that perhaps there is a limit, a limit of when one is too old for long hair and perhaps that window was soon closing…for my friend…my friend who is ten years younger than me.

Seriously?

There is a time when long hair is no longer acceptable for women of a certain age…40-something year old women?!

In 2013?!

Why can’t middle-aged women have long hair?

Why indeed.

Yes, I know after a certain age our hair, among other things change. Believe me, I am aware. Often a woman of a certain age finds that her hair thins some. For me that would mean I don’t break as many hair brushes as I used to in my twenties and thirties. It still is very thick…and as I am getting older it is changing a little in texture, becoming coarser, curlier…and grayer. Hollie covers that gray very well now. Perhaps I might not let her cover it as much…then again, no…for now.

Anyone who has known me for a very long time knows I have worn my hair very long and very short and all kinds of lengths in between. That’s me. That’s my hair. So the long hair now is not me trying to look young or trying to grasp desperately after fading youth or beauty. No. It’s just me and my hair and I like it this way right now. I like it a lot. As long as the hair is healthy and looks good why must a woman wear her hair short just because she is of a certain age? My hairdresser agrees. Me as a 51 year old woman is a helluva lot more confident and comfortable in my own skin than I ever was in my teens (DUH!), my 20s, my 30s and even part of my 40s and right now I am very comfortable with my long locks. So for me, that window is open, open all the way baby letting the cool, fresh breezes in…hot flashes, you know.

the sharp dressed nurse

Why am I hearing ZZ Top right now?

Every (patient’s) crazy for a sharp dressed nurse.

Truth be told, being a patient myself a few times, I never really paid much attention to how my nurse caring for me looked. Just do your job and take really good care of me is all I ask. The thing is I have found in those circumstances is the nurses who have cared for me, or my children, as their patient are not only professional in their skills but how they look. Their appearance reflects their attention to their profession…and their personality.

The balance of presenting myself professionally along with a little self expression has been on my mind lately. Ultimately I dress as a NICU nurse for comfort, mine and my patients and their families because twelve hours night or day is a very long time to be on the job caring for tiny human beings and their worried, stressed families. Working twelve hour night shifts as an RN in the NICU, I certainly don’t always look gorgeous…um, actually probably never with my hair twisted up in a bun or a braid and virtually no makeup. But then again I’m too busy taking care of critically sick, tiny humans and supporting their scared, nervous (and sometimes also sick) parents to be worried about whether or not I look good. Yet I do try to look good…or at least professional, as in the “you can trust me I am a professional and well-qualified to care for your precious baby” sense. It makes a difference I believe. I know I would want my loved ones’ caregivers to dress and look professional.

I was more than thrilled to be asked by Uniformed Scrubs to try on and take one of their scrub tops out for a night of “fun” in the NICU. A little sweat (thank you hot flashes!), some baby spit up that might miss a burp cloth or some dried tears on your shoulder after hugging a grateful parent or snuggling a snuffling baby. So. Much Fun. No, really. Fun that my scrubs better hold up to well.

I was given an Adar Scrub Set top to try on. Basic, simple, well-made, side vents, deep pockets…all things I want/need in scrubs. Comfortable too.

Definitely comfortable but I need a smaller size! That’s my fault. I guess I need to see that yes, I am a size smaller which is a win. Hurray for my running obsession and new flirtation with kettle bells! But the true test was yes, these scrubs held up very well to my 12 hour shift of caring for my precious patients, my hot flashes and the little bit of baby spit up that slipped past the burp cloth washed out just fine, thank you very much.

To thank me for trying on one of their featured scrubs, Uniformed Scrubs is offering my readers 15% off their wide variety of brands of fun, functional and comfortable scrubs. Just use the coupon code “true blue” from now until July 31, 2013 to receive you 15% off discount. Pretty awesome!

Also be sure to check out the Official Uniformed Scubs Blog, like them on Facebook, follow them on Twitter, and on Pinterest to see more featured products, deals and discounts.

I was asked by Uniformed Scrubs to try on and review one of the Adar Scrub Set top and received no other compensation besides the scrub top which served me well last night at work.

being momish

A dear friend I have known since we were pregnant with our now 20 year old children recently turned 40. I was a little surprised and amused that it was such a traumatic event for her. I mean this lady is hot. No way she looks 40 much less the mother of a 20 year old and two teenagers. Still it was a hard transition for her and in spite of encouragement from those around her…you know, telling her just how gorgeous she really was and so on…she still was not ready to gracefully turn 40 much less rock the shit out of it. The days leading up to the big day she fretted over whether her beautiful long hair should be more age appropriate and should she be dressing in a more matronly fashion and on and on. And then, the fateful day arrived and lo, she realized she is still the same amazing woman that she was the night before when she was 39. She was still married to her big, handsome man who is hopelessly in love with her and still the mom of her three beautiful, accomplished children and she was still the woman who was finally pursuing her passion and talent in a new amazing career opportunity. And she was now phenomenally, fabulously forty…and dang if it doesn’t look amazing on her!

Another friend fretted just a little how she was headed to swim lessons with her small one wearing a swimsuit that was definitely NOT “momish”.She then later added how she was the only mom there rocking a two-piece. First I thought, you go on with your bad self girl. Then I thought, momish? What the hell is momish? I’m guessing momish is wearing a one piece suit or worse.

Momish? It sounds like such an ugly, bad thing.

Truth be told my friends, 40 and 30-something ladies, are moms…I’m a mom too…a 50 year old mom…so wouldn’t it follow we are all momish…being moms and all that?

Yes.

Yes, it would. So then what is momsih? Are we supposed to dress in a certain manner just because we are moms? Should we be wearing our hair a certain way…you know, the “mom-cut” in a good momish fashion? Do we give up the bikinis just because we are moms? The short skirts? The shorts? The piercings? The ink? The long hair with beachy waves? Should we color our hair or just let the gray shine through?

Some of us do wrestle with these questions and I would suggest that our sizes and shapes or age perhaps really have not much to do with that. But some do because, well, “they” expect it and dictate it. Some of us do because of practicality and and the life that is breastfeeding a baby while juggling two in diapers and potty training another and there just isn’t time to be dressed to impressed because, seriously, we are just lucky that we managed a 2 minute shower after putting them all down for an afternoon nap. I know it’s been awhile since that was my life but in all honesty, it wasn’t THAT long ago that that was my life.

Nowadays I do manage to fix my long hair all pretty…more because of the fact I am a walking calling card for my daughter who does my hair…and I do manage to put on makeup and wear nice tees and jeans or shorts or a short denim skirt. And I do rock a bikini. My kids are older so I don’t have a nursing baby or toddler and preschoolers to chase after. I have a little more time…not much, but time enough time. Yes, I’m 50. I’m an older mom. I’m a mima too. But I definitely have confidence perhaps that I didn’t have back when I had one or two small ones, worried about what others were thinking. Nowadays I really don’t care. Perhaps because I know that the opinion of the pool mom in the animal print string bikini and spray tan isn’t really important just as the opinion of the mom wearing yoga pants and a baggy tee with her reverse mullet hair.. They don’t matter because we all are moms and we all look momish. There’s no getting away from that especially when we have kids calling out “Mom!” in our general direction. It takes all kinds of different beauty to make moms.

Regardless of all of that, while we all are moms, more importantly we are women, we are human beings and we are who we are. We are all beautiful. We all are awesome. Perhaps it is time we ALL realize that and celebrate it all. I for one intend to today, tomorrow and for years to come.

And someday, if I am lucky, I might be just as gorgeous as this mom, my darling husband’s grandmother, Hazel the First.

Seriously, she makes “momish”  AND 93 look hot.